Daydreaming

Wow, I haven't posted since March? AMAZING. I post other places... I guess I just haven't been sure what I'm doing with this blog.

I'm daydreaming right now. I suppose it's only fitting I felt the pull to post on my million dreams blog when I'm daydreaming about things I want / want to do.

I want...

a beautiful vacation cabin in the mountains of North Carolina so my family can spend chunks of time playing in the wilderness together (and then we can rent it out during the times we aren't there)

a decluttered house with all this stuff finally sold and out the door (there's a LOT to go through still... this is no short task... and so I dream of it just being DONE already)

living a life with enough money to make ends meet AND having all our debts paid, living credit card free

being a foster parent (I just discovered the fairly new, yet entirely awesome, blog Backwoods Mom... reading through her blog isn't helping me quench my desire to be a foster mom OR live in the wilderness)


Having a million dreams is hard because I often don't know what I want to do for a living. I'm happy doing so many things it's hard to focus on one; it's hard not to get swept up in the excitement of a new idea (or the rekindling of an old idea that's been loved and shelved for a while). Even thinking about "what would I do if I was rich?" doesn't help, because I think if I had the money I'd do ALL these things. I'd raise billions of kids and spend lots of time being an awesome mommy but I'd still start up Spookytown, I'd just have the money to hire people to work in the businesses I started there rather than having to build it from the ground up...
I'd also own rental properties and vacation properties all over the place, and would rent out the vacation properties when we weren't using them, and would spend lots of time traveling from spot to spot.

Sometimes I wonder if I should focus on one VS the other (family's not optional; it's coming along with the ride. The only question is how BIG we let the family get, I guess), or if I should keep trying to have both. They're certainly not mutually exclusive but splitting our attention and goals means everything grows a bit slower. The spooky side VS the vacation side. And of course, since I'm NOT rich, building the spooky side is going to involve a whole lot of blood, sweat and tears from us, which means that we will have a lot less time to go on vacations for a while and will be paying a lot more in vacation property management fees once we start accumulating said property.

And since we don't have the money to buy ANY properties right now, what do I do for money in the meantime? How much of myself do I want to invest in working VS spending time with my family?
I decided recently to start selling Pure Romance (click the link to visit my personal Pure Romance by Kristi website if you're interested). I believe I can work that business part time and make the money we need while still being able to focus on my family. I believe I will ENJOY that business too, which is very important to me.

Sometimes I worry I'm going to enjoy it so much that it'll become a full time thing for me and I will find myself putting my spookytown dreams on hold to pursue this career.

Then I laugh and say to myself, oh, what a TERRIBLE dilemma to have, having to choose between two things you'd love to do.

Life's funny that way sometimes. You think you're going to open a haunted bar, only to find yourself selling sex toys from a mountain cabin several states away.

HEY Y'ALL (dialect vlog)

*I do not say "hey y'all" in this video. I am not from the south, much as I may want to be.*

This vlog was inspired by my friend Natalie over at Mommy Boots, who also did one of these vlogs. I think they're fun, so here's mine. See below the video for the words, the questions, and a list of other folks who have done this too! If you do one, please leave me a comment with the link and also tell me where you're from; I love to hear how other people pronounce things.

I noticed one error when I watched this after recording it; when talking about what I called my grandparents, instead of saying "my mother's parents / father's parents" or "my maternal grandparents / paternal grandparents", I TOTALLY referred to them as "my mother's grandparents" and "my father's grandparents". I really WAS talking about THEIR parents, MY grandparents. Durrr. Sorry. LOL.



Here is the list of words, and also the list of questions :

Aunt, Route, Wash, Oil, Theater, Iron, Salmon, Caramel, Fire, Water, Sure, Data, Ruin, Crayon, Toilet, New Orleans, Pecan, Both, Again, Probably, Spitting image, Alabama, Lawyer, Coupon, Mayonnaise, Syrup, Pajamas, Caught
What is it called when you throw toilet paper on a house?
What is the bug that when you touch it, it curls into a ball?
What is the bubbly carbonated drink called?
What do you call gym shoes?
What do you say to address a group of people?
What do you call the kind of spider that has an oval-shaped
body and extremely long legs?
What do you call your grandparents?
What do you call the wheeled contraption in which you carry
groceries at the supermarket?
What do you call it when rain falls while the sun is shining?
What is the thing you change the TV channel with?


Other people that have posted a dialect video:

Mommy Boots (from Chicago, now living in Chattanooga)
Ashley Getting Dressed (from a rural area about an hour north of St. Louis, Missouri)
Pickles & Paisleys (from Charleston, SC)
She's Mommafied (grew up in Boston, now lives in New Hampshire)
Bravo Charlie Sierra (from Pittsburgh, PA)
Sara Kaisenberg (moved to Texas when she was four, but learned to talk in New York)

And just for fun, here's a dialect video my husband and I made TWO YEARS AGO, together, with a different list of words! (He's from Miami, FL; I'm from Chicago, IL; we're both living in Chicagoland at the moment.)

My Girl Likes To Party All The Time, Party All The ZZZZZzzzzzz....

I have been nothing short of exhausted lately. Bone-tired, brain completely fried kind of tired. It just seems to keep getting worse, it's interfering with my ability to get anything other than 'basic tasks of the day' done (I do manage a few extras here and there, like the monster cake pops I made for my son's class the other day, but it's with extreme effort and sheer force of will).

There ain't no second chance against the thing with 40 eyes, girl.

What's the reason? I'm not entirely sure but I really think it's lack of quality sleep, and I think there are several things that have been affecting this. (Which makes it much harder to fix!)

Problem #1: My teeth hurt, and they tend to hurt more at night for some reason.
Solution: I get my permanent crown on February 4th, and I'm hoping that will fix this issue. In the meantime, I am turning to drugs. Advil manages to work most of the time, but usually when the pain gets worse the Advil doesn't help or it wears off in the middle of the night and the pain wakes me up, thus interrupting my sleep. I took Advil PM a couple times but we're out of that now, and we do have some Codeine left still. The problem with the drowsy drugs is that it's hard for me to wake up in the mornings, which I need to do in order to take care of my family. This leads to...

Problem #2: I am not a morning person. Even in the face of sheer exhaustion, as soon as the sun sets I am wide awake, and find it hard to go to bed or fall asleep any earlier than midnight. I have school-age kids so we're up early to get off to school five days a week, and don't usually get to sleep in TOO late on weekends either.
Solution: Go to bed earlier? Yeah, not gonna happen. I've tried this off and on my whole life. My body is just programmed to be up at night. I can't seem to help it. And I ENJOY it. I just don't enjoy the 'getting up in the mornings' part. It would be easier if the world would just start conforming to my schedule. I know I'm not the only night owl out there.

Problem #3: We recently moved into the basement and have been sleeping on the futon down there. It's a fairly decent futon mattress, but it's not the most comfortable thing in the world and I don't feel that I'm sleeping very well on it at all. Not only have I been increasingly more exhausted every day since we moved down there, but I also wake up every day with a new ache somewhere in my body. Back, shoulders, and neck seem to be the most affected. I'm pretty sure that this 'bed' is not at all good for me.
Solution: We've talked about several options, ranging from getting a new mattress to getting a foam memory topper. None of them are particularly cheap, and while some aren't terribly expensive either, we still have to save up for them. I'm starting to be so tired that I kind of just don't care though and am almost willing to just charge it. Which we're trying not to do, but when you're tired and delirious you don't always make the best decisions.

Problem #4: We just got two kittens. Nighttime is playtime! Wheeeee! They run over us, they jump, the mock fight and growl, they wake us up for petting and purring and love, they roll around in the (dry) bathtub and clunk into things. It's ridiculously adorable, but it also wakes us up about 50 times a night.
Solution: Kinda just have to wait this one out, I think. Eventually they'll grow out of it, and they'll be used to the house and the dogs enough where we will be willing to leave the door open and let them roam all over the place while we sleep. Right now, we just have to put up with this one. It's like having a baby, only instead of needing to feed it or change it, it runs all over the place and makes a bunch of noise.

We are wine botttleesssss!

I think the bed is the biggest problem. Being uncomfortable all night long, every night, is awful. So I think I will focus on solving that problem this weekend and see what a difference it makes. Because I'm really having trouble functioning lately. And I can't spend the rest of my life sitting around like a zombie, watching reruns of Roseanne.

But hey, I got new glasses, and I think they're pretty spiffy. So life's not all bad.

I Thrill When I Drill A Bicuspid

I had my first major dental work done last week. I grew up with fairly healthy teeth, yet somehow managed to develop a healthy fear of dentistry anyway. I never even had to have my wisdom teeth pulled because I DON'T HAVE ANY. I was born with no wisdom teeth! Since they only seem to cause problems for pretty much everyone, I can't help but feel I dodged a bullet with that little congenital defect.

So with healthy teeth and an unhealthy fear of people hurting me in my mouthal region, I pretty much avoid the dentist. As an adult, eventually the guilt of 'I should really be responsible and take better care of myself' creeps up on you, and finally in 2007 I decided, after AT LEAST ten years of having avoided them, that I really ought to visit the dentist. I had lost a tooth somewhere in that time period; I knew it was coming because I was also born missing that adult tooth (FIVE teeth congenitally missing! go me!), and my childhood dentist had warned us that the baby tooth would eventually wear out. They're just not made to last that long. So it did, in pieces, and it was gross, but it didn't hurt, and it seemed to have all fallen out, and the tooth is kind of on the side of my mouth so I figured I didn't really look like a gap-toothed crack whore or anything so why bother with an expensive repair (though I always thought it would be kind of awesome to get a gold tooth, and maybe someday I will; I'm classy like that).

Hi, my name is ChaCha; for $15 bucks I'll blow you in this port-a-potty.

But eventually I started to worry that maybe the RIGHT thing to do would be to have someone official check it out and just make sure all the pieces, you know, came out and whatnot, and maybe they should look at my other teeth too and tell me everything was OK. My husband happened to go to this great dentist in Roscoe Village (this was back when we lived in Chicago; it's Perfect Smile Dental Spa, if anyone local needs an awesome dentist! Tell them Kristi Dorson sent you! Dr. DeMars is great!). They tend to cater to dental wusses like me. They'll give you massages if you have to wait for your appointment, they're very nice, they have foot massagers in the waiting area, it's comfy and cozy and they'll give you laughing gas and goofy pills if you're very anxious about seeing the dentist, and they'll give you headphones to listen to the radio or watch movies if you prefer, and they're very thorough. Perfect for someone like me. So I went, they cleaned my teeth and fixed a tiny cavity (the first in my life) and gave me my first dose of laughing gas and it was actually kind of fun.

And then we moved an hour away and I didn't bother going back. The thought of trying to find another dentist, a local dentist, kind of terrified me, especially after dealing with such nice people who understood what it was like to fear the dentist. I just wanted them to move their offices to ME. Of course that wasn't going to happen, so I just didn't go. Then I was diagnosed with diabetes, and strongly encouraged to see my dentist (and EVERY OTHER MEDICAL SPECIALIST ON THE PLANET) twice a year because diabetes basically fucks up your entire body, and it tends to do it kind of silently at first so if you don't have an entire team of professionals working on your tired old carcass year round you just wake up one day and your foot is gangrenous and they need to amputate, and your liver is shot, and you're blind and your teeth have all fallen out, and then you die from kidney failure. My future's so bright, I gotta wear shades! Ahem.

So I still avoided the dentist for a couple years. This year I vowed to take better care of my health overall. Also, one of my back teeth cracked in half last month. I figure hey, they're probably not supposed to do that, are they? Whoops, time to go to the dentist. By this point I decided that if I was really happy at Perfect Smile, it was worth the damn one hour drive to go rather than deal with the anxiety of having to find a new, equally awesome dentist.

As it turns out, at no great surprise to me, cracked tooth=bad. It was a hair's breadth away from the nerve, so I was really lucky it didn't hurt like a bitch; possible root canal needed, definitely a crown. I also had two other cavities that needed fixing and some majorly swollen gums. Higher blood sugar levels from diabetes apparently leads to some KILLER gum disease. So they had lots of major work to do on me! I got some Super Valium to take before the appointment, and then they gave me more at the appointment, AND they gave me the happy gas, AND the radio headphones, so it was a pretty happy experience overall. Except now I have a temporary crown on the cracked tooth and I can't eat on that side of my mouth because it's really tender and keeps hurting when I chew and I'm taking lots of advil and wondering when it will STOP hurting. I get the permanent crown next Friday. I'm hoping that will be the end of my dental miseries for a while.

Taking better care of myself sucks. Or maybe it's diabeetus that sucks. Or maybe it's avoiding taking care of myself and then having to pay the piper when I finally give in and make the effort that sucks. Whatever; my mouth hurts and I'm grouchy.

Hey, let's end on a happy note! We got two new kitties last weekend! Here's a picture of Hannah stretching after one of her many naps.

(Sorry both my pictures are from my camera phone. I know they suck. I've become really lazy with my camera lately; that's another thing I need to work on this year.


Also, I probably should note that this is NOT a sponsored post or anything. That's probably obvious because I swore a lot and made jokes about prostitution. I just really love Perfect Smile and Dr. DeMars. AND the drugs they give me. I DO get a referral bonus if you go to them and say I sent you though. So you should do that.)